just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
