if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
