My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
youre lurking in front of me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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