She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
