Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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