I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
