the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
