I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
