I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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