Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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