He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
