I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
