Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Found your dick twin last night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
