My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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