Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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