It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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