we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
