he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i now understand why vodka
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
