he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He has the fingertips of a God
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