he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Text me some of your sweat
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