Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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