So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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