is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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