Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
