i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The adults are the big ones right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
