Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
