It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
