i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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