i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
