Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
