Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
