He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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