I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
