I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
