can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
