Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
