if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
