Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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