You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
