final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
