Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Randomize
