i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
