shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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