I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
