Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
last night I used snow as a chaser
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