I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
