we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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