I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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