My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
