Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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