This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She told me I should be a condom model.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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