his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
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